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Updated 4/08 [M 63]I would like to pen some more thoughts on sex education. I feel that if there was proper sex education from a young age specifically in the home where it can explained in more intimate surroundings unlike the cold and hard area of a school classroom there might not be so much sex and physical abuse that is so prevelant in our society today.
To digress a bit I do believe that today's youth are so wayward and undisciplined because there is no proper training at home, not just about sex education, but also about family values and life in general and respecting others.
In many homes all around the world the wife has to go out to work as well to supplement the monthly income and the child or children come home from school to an empty house as the parents would only be home sometime after 5/00pm in the evening. The children then become bored and are apt to get up to mischief. My philosophy is that the husband should be earning enough to support the family without the wife having to go to work. The mother would be at home when the children come home to from school and take care of their needs or whatever. There must be no divorce to upset the family unity. This is the perfect family!!! But unfortunately in the harsh reality of this world its only a pipe dream for most.
However back to the main topic - sex! I was sufing the Internet and came across the most amazing thing I've ever read. It was under sex stories and I thought it was somebody's fantasy rambling - Perhaps it is. The lady writing it descibes how sex education sometimes works in various societies around the world including her own experiences.
She would describe how her child when reaching puberty would be given the opportunity to experience sex at a very early age (12 to 15 yrs old) firstly by being naked and exploring one another's bodies. The mother would be naked and invite her son to explore her and she would open her legs and expose her vagina and explain what sex is about and that the human body is such a wonderful thing. The boy would probably have an erection and she would hold his penis and bring him off. On another ocassion she would allow him to place his erect penis in her vagina to physically explain what the sex act was about and what a wonderful experience it can be. She would also allow her son or daughter to watch her and her husband have sex and understand the meaning of this wondeful union and what would be in store for them at a later in life.
She went on to eludicate on sex parties or defloration for youngsters now having reached puberty. (no waiting for adulthood and marriage and sex on wedding night). A party would be arranged with friends and their children. All the children would be encouraged to strip naked. The couple that were to be deflorated would be led to the bedroom and told to lie on the bed with all the family and children gathered to watch the proceedings. If there were problems an adult mother would act as a surrogate and help the boy guide his penis into the girl's waiting vagina and complete the union even to the extent of spraying his semen inside of her (what about pregnancy and no condom - my remarks). After that there would be celebratory party and the adults present would strip and celebrate by having sex with each other with the children watching.
The writer claims that children brought up this way are encouraged to feel that sex is something wonderful that should be enjoyed to the full as soon as possible in life and that these children grow up to become normal responsible adults.
I find this all amazing having never read this sort of thing before. If true, it seems to fly in the face of today's standards and norms of society.

Updated 3/08 [M] I found the forum on sex education rather interesting considering that I never received that when I was a growing youngster. To me sex discussion in the home is taboo and you are left to find out for yourself as is what happened to me. Oddly enough I would at times see my parents naked in the morning when they moved from the bathroom back to the bedroom to get dressed. They did not bother about dressing gowns. And yet for all that there was no offer to explain what sex was about not even when one time when I was having a bath and my mother entered the bathroom to get get something out of the cupboard and I was experiencing an erection. When I asked a question about it I was told that it was simply something quite natural and must not take any notice of it - End of discussion !!!!
Sometimes as a youngster still at school I would happen to pass the open bedroom door and see my mother partially naked sitting before her dressing table getting dressed and putting her makeup on. What really caught my eye was this small white belt round her waist and a white pad like thing clipped to the belt. I did'nt know it at the time that this was my first sight of menstruation and it gave me a hardon as well !!!! When mother went out shopping I would would have a peek in her cupboards and there I found belts, sanitary pads and sometimes a box of Tampax. I took one of the belts and removed a pad from its wrapper and remembering how mother had worn it I decided to try it on.
Now the box of Tampax really raised my curiosity and took one out of the box and removed the wrapper to examine it. Two interconnecting tubes and a bit of string !!! What could it be ? A pressed the one tube into the other and a cotton plug with a string at one end popped out. What the heck could this possible be used for ? I found an instruction leaflet in the box and soon all was revealed. Being a boy I naturally did not have a vagina but a I did have a hole in my backside and decided to try out the Tampax ! Following the directions in the leaflet I tried with great difficulty to push the tube into my backside. With a little help from some Vaseline jelly I managed to get the tube inside me and slowly pressed the outertube in a far as possible expelling the tampon deep inside me. It left me with a strange lovely tingling sensation as the tampon was pushed in against the rectum walls. (I did'nt know it at such a young age (12 - 14) that I was probably rubbing the tampon against the prostrate). Only later when reading a medical reference book that we had and reading the section on sexual organs that I was on the way to my self help in sex education !!!!
I would have loved to have seen my mother using the Tampax but she did this within the confines of the toilet with the door shut nor did I get to see the string hanging out !! It was only many years later when I visited a massage parlour and I told the young lady about what I had seen and she asked if I would like a demonstration on how it worked. I did'nt need any prompting in this regard and she produced a tampon from her bag and stripped the wrapper off and standing facing me and putting one leg up on a chair and giving me a clear closeup view of her pussy lips she placed the applicator against her slightly widen lips and guided the tube up into her love hole and then slowly pressed the outer plunger driving the cottonwool tube into her vagina. Removing the tube she stood before me showing the string hanging from her pussylips. She allowed me to tug lightly on the string to show how neatly the tampon was plugging her vagina. All this acitivity gave me a hardon while she slowly pulled on the string and removed the tampon. She would always do this for me when I regularily visited her and she even let me insert the tampon into her which gave me a big thrill.

Updated 8/07 [M] I made many mistakes about sex in my younger years. I fucked my first woman when I was 16. She was about 20, had one child and was separated from her husband. All I knew was that I had to get my cock in her cunt and slide it in and out until I experienced my orgasm. She guided my cock to her cunt and helped me get it in her. I succeeded in satisfying myself, I don’t know what I did for her. My next one was a prostitute at 17 after I joined the Navy. At least I knew where her cunt was and was able to get my cock in her without any help. That was followed up in Guantanamo City, Cuba by a morning with a young girl in her teens who was being pimped by her older brother.
I paid him for her services, supposedly all day, and succeeded in fucking her seven times before he came back and cut me off. Okay, So I know how to fuck now. That was followed up by a several month relationship with a very pretty and nice to be with young prostitute in Malta. Again, all we did was fuck. I was almost in a position to have her give me a blowjob when my ship left. Another prostitute fuck in France where she started off by sucking my cock for a minute or two before we started fucking, that was a good fuck, and we did it again. There was one in Norfolk with a married woman, who was a lousy fuck and had a disposition so nasty I can’t understand why her husband hadn’t thrown out.
After that, I got married. She had an extremely tough hymen that we couldn’t rupture on our wedding night no matter how hard we both tried. She told me her gynocologist had tried to get her to let her cut it open, but my wife wanted me to be the one to do it. We succeeded the next night. After that, we fucked a lot, at least once each night after a shower together, but that’s all they were, a good fuck for me, with me making sure she had an orgasm too, usually with my thumb on her clit. At least I was learning something. We had three children and I got a vasectomy to save on condoms. I finally got her to let me eat her pussy which she really enjoyed even though I really didn’t know what I was doing. I did find out that sucking her clit rapidly in and out of my mouth with an occasional lick from her cunt back to her clit really pleased her. A day or two later, she gave me a blowjob with me withdrawing before I came. A few more blowjobs and she tried to keep it in her mouth so she could take my cum in her mouth. Like the ignorant fool I was, I pulled it out and used a damp towel to cum in. She felt it was degrading for me to eat her pussy and resisted further attempts, but was willing to suck me off because she knew I liked it. She had a hysterectomy where the stupid woman doctor removed her ovaries and basically ended our sex life because of the pain she experienced from having my cock, or even her finger, in her cunt. With her not wanting me to eat her pussy, I couldn’t ask her to suck my cock each night.
If I had only known the art of oral sex then, I could have taught her to enjoy oral sex and we could still be enjoying it today.
Looking back on things, I think all boys 17 and older should be taught all the ways to have sex with a woman, how to please her so that she is the first to undress and get in bed each night, and initiate it at other appropriate times during the day. The down side of this could be boys and young men getting themselves in a lot of trouble.

[M] Proper Sex Education
There is a lot of discussion going on about sex education for teen teenagers. Unfortunately, too much of it centers around age and STD problems. Fine, age is an important issue, and STD an even more important issue. An equally important issue has to do with how to have and enjoy sex for a lifetime. To put it bluntly, most young couples simply don’t know how to fuck.
By the age of thirteen, most boys and girls have masturbated and experienced orgasms, and also know the basics of fucking. The boy knows that if he can stroke his cock in and out of a girl’s vagina enough times, he will have an orgasm. The girl doesn’t quite understand what stroking his cock in and out of her cunt has to do with her having an orgasm, because she rubs her clit to have one.
When she finally decides to have sex with a boy, she has to decide what to do about her hymen. She can force two fingers of each hand through the small hole in it’s center and tear it open, use a large broom handle, or let the boy try to rupture it with his cock, all a very unpleasant experience. Then, there’s the idea that she should save it for her husband to rupture. In any case, her first fuck is going to hurt, and she probably won’t end up having an orgasm either. If she is going have sex before she marries, it would make more sense for her to have her gynecologist cut it open, a relatively painless procedure, except that her mother is going to find out her daughter is no longer a virgin, which can be painful also.
I believe that boys and girls should be taught the basics of sex before they engage in something they really don’t understand, and probably have gotten bad information about from older boys and girls.
They don’t have to be taught by actually fucking or masturbating each other. The first thing they need to learn is where all their sex and reproductive organs are, how they function including all the details of a woman’s menstrual cycle, the details and differences of the male and female orgasm and their purpose, and how to use this information for pleasure and reproduction. The boys and girls should take the class together so each can learn what the other needs, what each has to do for the other, and how to do it properly. Again, to put it bluntly, they have learn how to seduce each other, how to satisfy each other, and how to make babies.

Updated 7/07 [M] Girls knew much more about their bodies than boys did about theirs. Mothers felt more comfortable talking to their daughters than they did talking to their sons. Fathers never talked about anything. If somebody had been more open with me
then, it could have eased my mind greatly. I learned first that boys had penises and girls didn’t. I had no idea what girls had. I didn’t know if girls had testicles. I wasn’t told. I learned when I was seven that girls did not have testicles. I was asked by another boy, and I was able to tell him no, girls did not have testicles. He had been in the same situation as me. I wondered if girls were just as ignorant about boys’ bodies as boys were about girls’ bodies. When I was ten, I wandered into a part of the playground that some kids had claimed as their territory, and a girl threatened to kick me in the nuts if I didn’t leave. I realized that at least one girl knew about testicles.
I wondered and worried about girls. Does she know what a penis is? Does she know what testicles are? What does she think of them? Would she be grossed out by them, think they were ugly or funny-looking? Would she laugh at me if she saw me naked? Would she say “Yuk!!!?”
I knew my penis was for peeing, but I didn’t know that it was for anything else. I didn’t know what my erections were or why they occurred. I had no idea what my testicles were or why they were there. I thought it was weird that my body would be built to have a little sack of skin hanging from it with two objects in it that seemed to be a pair of rather large jelly beans. I wondered why part of me was hanging down there between my legs. Why weren’t they inside me with the rest of my guts? I liked the way the skin of the scrotum felt when it was loose (though at the time I didn’t know it was a scrotum). I liked to hold my testicles when I was little because of that. My mom would see me with my hand in my pants and tell me to stop. I would say, “But it feels good!” In later years, I realized she probably thought I was masturbating!
When I was about nine years old, we visited some nearby relatives. I was bored and so was handed an anatomy book to keep me occupied. I found a diagram of the male urogenital system. I read that those things hanging down there behind my penis were called testes. I felt good to be able to put a name to them. The text was boring so I didn’t read much. I found a passage about erections and was grossed out to find that erections were caused by blood flowing into the penis. I don’t like to think about blood, or that when I had an erection, my penis was full of blood.
When little boys get erections, it’s not because of sexual arousal or physical stimulation. The erections happen independently of what the boy may be thinking or doing. It has to do with growth – the penis has to become erect from time to time during boyhood for the erectile tissues to grow properly. Erections could happen anywhere, anytime. Most embarrassingly, they happen at school. When a boy gets an erection at school, he’s scared that the bulge will be seen, pointed out to everyone, and laughed at. I learned from friends that it happened to all boys, and that they were called “boners.”
Before puberty, a boy can pee during an erection. After puberty, he can’t. The problem, though, is that it’s impossible to aim a boner. I could not point my penis in any direction suitable for peeing. My penis was stiff and sticking up, while the toilet was below me. I could sit on the toilet and lean forward so that I was almost laying flat, so my penis was aimed down, but that didn't really work. I would try to push it down, toward the toilet. Fortunately, I lived on a farm. If I had to pee and I had an erection (when I was home), I could go outside. It didn’t matter where I peed, as long as no one could see me.

Updated 3/07 [M 36] Risking Joan renaming this discussion thread 'Critique on Catholicism', I would like to share my experiences on this topic. I too was raised in a Catholic household, and to a degree was affected by some of the same theologically based repression described by the original contributor to this thread. I recall at age 12 or so being handed a tri-fold pamphlet by my mother that discussed puberty, wet dreams and masturbation, which was the extent to which sexuality and sexual development was discussed in our household. Luckily, this information was not written by the church (it's author still eludes by memory to this day), and spoke more pragmatically about natural male sexual development than it did to issues of morality. However lame this act may be perceived in hindsight, I now view it as a very honest attempt by my mother to break the cycle of doctrine-driven repression that she and my father had undoubtedly endured in their adolescence. This allowed me to discover my own sexuality in a healthy way, aside from the obvious lack of open dialogue.
My wife was not nearly as fortunate as I was growing-up. With considerably older parents, information on sexuality was considered taboo and non-existent. Her up-bringing has had a lasting effect on our love-life, manifesting itself early in our relationship as overwhelming guilt about our pre-marital sexual activity, and later as an inability to allow herself to experiment sexually and enjoy the act to its full potential. She had confided early in our relationship that she had never masturbated, having only discovered the pleasure after my purchase for her of her first vibrator. She remains extremely self & body conscious, rarely allowing herself the pleasure of receiving cunnilingus and will not entertain any notion of anal touching. When relaxed, she is a sensual and passionate woman who enjoys sex and is almost always orgasmic, yet her upbringing and faith are at odds with this and the resulting dissonance is a barrier that must constantly be overcome. Through patience and maturity, we have been able to reconcile much of this, and have vowed not to allow our children to endure a similar silence in our household as they mature into adolescence.

[M] As far as sex education goes, I guess I'd have to say pretty much self taught. There wasn't any such thing in school and I didn't get any at home. Mother nature had the most to do with it. Started with masturbation. I wasn't ever told a thing about it or how to. It just came naturally to me. Then when I went through puberty, again it was good old mother nature at work. The first thing I noticed about girls in a sexual way were there thighs. I certainly didn't need to be told how good they'd feel to me. Just the sight of them and that little giggle in them was enough. Now, where sex ed would had probably come in handy with me was in my early teen days. I'd dream about feeling up a girl and getting my penis into her vagina. Something I'm sure all boys thought about. But, if the offer would had ever come back then to do it, I just know I would had done it with out even thinking about it. I remember seeing these pretty leggy Mexican girls in my neighbor and I dreamed about one of them offering "it" to me and how I would had taken her into my garage with her against a wall with her skirt up and my pants down and my slipping my penis into her. I think I would had done it. Then, when things finally did happen when I was older, I again was quite foolish. When it first happened (my first feel of thigh and first pussy), just my feeling her thighs brought on my orgasm right in my pants. It was over a weekend and I didn't even think about what could happened from what I was doing of course referring to getting her pregnant. All I had on my mind was her soft feeling body, her hand on me and that opening between her thighs. I ended up "meat to meat" as they called it, and she and I hooked up no telling how many times. I just remember she was literally over flowing with my semen. I'm sure if I'd had some good sex ed I would had used condoms. Only problem is I don't think sex ed would had been able to teach me ahead of time just how many condoms I would had needed that first weekend. Some of the pros and cons of sex ed, I guess.

Updated 2/07 [M 64] The author has a very valid point. I am a 64 year old married male (second marriage if that matters). Some facts:
My father and mother had zero input to my sex education. Even a jock strap was an embarrassment. The local minister gave me my only sex ed. When I got to college and took the mandatory Biology class the instructor skipped the Sex Ed chapter (the real reason for the course) and told us to read it on our own. Chaplains at my college, a state school in Illinois, told us that if we could not be chaste we should consider getting married soon. I do not think that this regime strengthened my ability to function as an adult in a society where sexuality is everywhere.
Net result -- zero sex ed. Ignorance and whatever resulted.
In the Netherlands there are condom machines hanging on the walls of buildings near the bars and places young people hang out. Prostitution is legal.
In Nevada where prostitution is legal there have been no cases of STD transmission between customers and working women.
I have an active sex life with my wife. However, both of us could have benefited from a more liberal sex education when young. And maybe as mature adults too!
I doubt that a surrogate program could be a viable alternative in our Evangelical country right now. However, for those who want it for their children, just knowing a person cared and was trained could be a big plus. This would indicate some sort of accreditation would be helpful. However as to whether a person uses the service is a personal decision. It should be voluntary.

[F 44] I would like to state a different take on sex education in America. I'll admit that I am not familiar with the education practices in other developed countries, but I grew up in America's public education system and have raised a son with my husband. I am much more sexually open than my husband. My parents told me very little about sex growing up, especially my Mom, who was and still is much too prudish to discuss such things. My husband grew up in a very reserved home and all his Dad ever told him was basically "Don't go getting a nice girl pregnant." I am somewhat younger than my husband and had the usual sex education classes in school, but he did not. As our son was growing up (he's a young adult now), I tried to encourage my husband to be more open with him than his Dad was. However, my husband was too embarrassed or whatever and felt like our son could learn on his own just as he did.
I knew our son would be horrified if I talked too much to him so I did some talking and also bought him a few books about the various stages of sexual development and so forth and encouraged him to ask questions of either of us. As far as I know, he never did ask anything, either out of embarrassment or he simply didn't have any. He also attended the usual sex education classes offered in school. I should also say that we taught our son to be respectful of all human beings. Also, our church (United Methodist) periodically offers a sex education course to the teenagers and our son attended those. It was taught by an older woman who is not a member of our church, but a pastor's wife at a different church.
Generally, the less the kids already know this person, the more open they feel they can be because they aren't afraid this person will go back and tell the parents what they said in these classes. The instructor meets with the parents before and after the series of classes and tell them what was discussed and so forth, but never discloses any particulars of what any certain teen discussed. She discusses in depth masturbation, intercourse, homosexuality, birth control, abortion and so forth. She also discussed how your sex life is not like the movies; that you just don't jump into bed with everyone you meet in the real world. This is not a religious oriented class. It's very clinical and non-judgemental. Anyway, that's a synopsis of my son's sex education and as far as I know, he is a well rounded young man who is respectful of young women.
Now, from a different angle, my brother has two teenaged daughters. His wife and he decided from the onset that they would be absolutely open with the girls; tell them everything and give them birth control when the time was right. I don't know all of the exploits of his daughters, but I do know that one (16 yo) has already had an abortion (apparently the birth control thing didn't work out as planned) and the other (18 yo) is currently being treated for an STD.
I think that each case is different, but you can't just give children the clinical information, birth control and freedom and say "Go forth and multiply." It's much more complex than that. I personally don't think the schools have any business teaching sex education other than the scientific aspects of reproduction. I do know that many parents don't or won't teach this at home, but the least they could do is seek out another adult or class similar to those taught at our church to help their children's education. Once you have intercourse, you have made the commitment to the child, if one is conceived, to educate them completely. If you're not ready for the full commitment, keep your pants zipped!

[F 21] I'm from Canada and even though he was writing about the U.S. many of what he said echoes here. we never touched on subjects like masturbation and only slightly on things like the pill or condoms. When I think back to the classes most of it was learning abstinence, avoiding peer pressure, really easy to do in high school eh, and how menstruation worked and for someone who doesn't follow the typical time period I thought something was seriously wrong and more so when they wouldn't help with any good answers. His idea seems like a good one though, a female half should be included, though i think it belongs in dream land because it would never be approved and it would be like things are now - if you follow this route you get no government funding to help teach it since it opposes their plans/views/opinions. Obviously the Netherlands has the right idea, since that is usually the age when children start noticing the differences between boys and girls and here usually find not many people willing to explain which is sad. That is why i love these groups, so we know we aren't the only ones who want things to change for the better, so it can happen and obviously in some places it has.

Updated 1/07 [M] I call this topic,"In a Perfect World," because it addresses the rather sad state of sex education in our public school system, plus the failure of many parents to adequately discuss sex and masturbation with their children.
How people can possibly subscribe to the fallacy that an "abstinence program" will prevent teen pregnancy hints directly at the problem; denial and neglect.
In the United States, approximately 97 per 1,000 women aged 15–19 - one million American teenagers - become pregnant each year. By contrast, in the Netherlands, where sexuality education begins in preschool and is integrated into all levels and subjects of schooling, the rate is 8.2 per 1,000 women younger than 20 - a rate almost seven times lower than that of the U.S.
I was talking with a friend who said that he recalled the lame "sex ed class" he had in school, and how he couldn't believe that while he and most of his male classmates were just discovering masturbation, that the curriculum never touched on the topic.
Then, our conversation turned to the subject of sexual surrogates, and we both agreed how wonderful it would be, for any interested parties, to be able to allow a young man to have his first sexual experience under the licensed guidance of an older, caring female. Think about it. There would be virtually no "performance anxiety" on the part of the young man; no wondering if he were making "the right moves." The surrogate would walk him smoothly through the whole experience, and actually, the client could choose his level of "participation."
There wouldn't be any fear of getting a girl pregnant. The woman would allow the client to examine her at his leisure, answering all questions. She would show him how to touch, arouse, and penetrate in a soft and gentle manner. She would help teach him to withhold his ejaculation longer. The entire sexual experience would be a positive one.
And what about the parents' role in the education process?
Many mothers have some discussion with their daughters about menstruation. Do they talk at all about the clitoris?
Fathers teach their sons all manner of "macho" skills, ranging from fishing, hunting, sports, etc. Do they ever offer any kind of personal advice or experience about sex or masturbation?
Apparently, it's acceptable in our society to demonstrate to a young boy - in detail - how to handle a firearm, how kill and dress large game, but unacceptable to demonstrate the most common, intimate form of personal pleasure?
And we wonder why our society has problems......

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