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I've spent many years and written many books on the subject of putting the fun back into sex. Here's a letter from a psychotherapist on that topic. Comments?

Updated 8/07 [M] As a licensed psychotherapist myself, I find it bothersome that much focus is put on performance...on doing things that are "out there" as a way to get off which I suspect in many instances stand in for a lack of connection between partners. It's really sad to me and seems that it's becoming more normative but in a disconnected way.... in just a "getting off" kind of way which doesn't equate to intimacy. In therapy sessions I've heard many females say that they do certain activities for guys and pretend they like it, or even try their best to like it, or fool themselves for quite some time that they do like it, but what they long for is far from what they're getting...yet they don't speak up for what they want. Or some don't even know what they want, so they let the male dictate for them and the sexual relationship really becomes about his ego. The sad thing is that many women are not aware of this but yet even after all the "mind-blowing" orgasms, there is an emptiness inside. They cry and wonder why that might be.
Sites such as yours don't explore that type of thing and you might want to consider a section on that. Too many females are feeling pressured into sexual activities that leave them empty...and really the same with males. Just because one has an orgasm doesn't ensure intimacy or happiness remotely. Also, a focus on respecting one's partner is critical. Too many women (and probably men) feel kind of bullied into doing things they'd rather not do or that doesn't feel so great or that leaves them empty. That's not good for anyone. In colleges, for example, these days, girls are servicing guys right and left and then wondering why they don't feel good about this. They also will let the guys dictate to them (or tell them) what a woman likes and women with poor self-esteem will buy into this. The number of women involved in this is staggering. It's not a healthy situation and has effects on true intimacy. I've even had women tell me that they went along with anal sex because the guy wanted to "explore" and they wanted the guy to like them...several have said, when having anal sex that they (the females) actually gagged and it was at that time that the guys came. Something dark is happening here and not "sexual freedom" and "fun."

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