Joan Elizabeth Lloyd

Bondage and Bondage Gear

Bondage and Bondage Gear

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If you're going to try light bondage, read up on it in one of my non-fiction books. Be sure you trust your partner to stop when you say so, and vice versa. Have a safe word, like "red" that means stop now! That way you can ask your partner to stop without his or her actually ceasing. More fun.

Updated 1/08 [M] Here's something I enjoy and wonder how many other's have tried it and what they think about it ... loving bondage. Not your usual BDSM, but simply one partner tying the other up and then doing whatever he/she wants to do. The fun, we've found, comes from discovering new things to do ... new sensations to experience.
My first time was when a lady and I were ending a relationship. She was to catch the train on Monday morning so we decided to have a last heavy duty weekend of it.
We'd no more than gotten into bed and had started with our usual foreplay when she asked if she could tie me up. Why not? So then I was ordered to go out to the garage to get rope. Our garage was separate from the house so it meant walking nude out the kitchen door, down the walk and across the driveway. I love it.
Tying me up involved binding my wrists together and fastening them to the headboard. The rope was then brought down my back to my feet which were tied to each corner of the bed. She began by teasing my erection with her teeth, nipping at the head of my prick. Putting a pillow under my head, she sat on my face, holding her pussy against my tongue until she climaxed.
Now, she told me, it's your turn. More teasing, this time she used the handle of a round hair brush to fuck herself, making me watch as she brought herself to a second climax. After cumming, she untied one of my feet and turned me over. Slowly she inserted the brush handle into my ass until the bristles were tight against my thighs. She turned me onto my back and straddled me, riding me to another wild climax.
You'd think the sharp bristles of the brush would hurt, and maybe they did but I loved it. Being helpless was a great feeling and when it came my turn I came like a thunderstorm. Leaving me tied, she again sat on my face, making me lick her clean. At the same time she sucked and licked me. This brought me to another erection and another riding to a climax. The next night was my turn and ... needless to say we both enjoyed the weekend. Both said it was too bad we'd only discovered this fun so late in our relationship. Bondage doesn't have to mean pain or humility ... it can mean fun and excitement. You'd be surprised at what new things you can find to do to your partner and being tied up only adds to the pleasure.

Updated 4/06 [M] We've added another homemade toy to my previously-described velcro bondage cuffs. We'd been discussing acquiring some sort of dildo for insertion during oral sex on her, but the prices were a little offputting. So, I decided to see what I could come up with in the workshop. Here's what you need:
7" to 8" length of 1/2" PVC water pipe
1/2" PVC pipe cap (the kind with the rounded end, not the flat end)
can of PVC pipe cement
120, 220 and 320 grit sandpaper
utility knife
some spare time
Here's what you do. Using the knife, CAREFULLY (I've got enough knife scars on my hands from carving stuff, so heed the warning!) whittle down the sharp edge on the open end of the pipe cap. Glue the pipe cap to the length of pipe. Now that you've got a handle of sorts, carve the molded-on lettering off the end of the pipe cap. Now sand the whole thing smooth, working your way from 120 thru 220 and onto 320 grit sandpaper, until it's all slick and you've sanded any rough edges and corners (and all the lettering on the length of pipe) off. Cover with prophylactic of choice (makes it easier to keep clean, and prevents ouchies if you missed a rough spot). There you have it! And you only spent about 5 bucks! Extended field trials indicate it's a smashing success.
Remember, with PVC pipe the diameter specified is the *inside* diameter; a nominal 1/2" pipe is about 3/4" across the outside. You don't want to go much bigger, as the pipe cap will likely be uncomfortably large.
Have fun! Your wife'll never look at Home Depot quite the same again!

Updated 7/05 [M] I had noticed there are quite a few posts on the subject of bdsm and figured I could help whether its with questions or helping those who wish to fullfill their fantasies in this. My link is http://pandemos.net/mistressjadetiger/ this is not a full website however and I am in the process of having a more professional site as soon as its done which will feature me and my partner Mistress Megaera in which we will be specializing in themeing and roleplaying to a large extent.

[M] The idea of commercial cuffs or restraints is not a turn on for us. However, the idea of chains is exciting to us. So I have gone to the pet store found a dog chain collar that slips through a loop on either end so it come tight on the dog's neck. We slip both ends through and form cuffs that are tight but can be slipped if necessary.

Updated 5/05 [M] I have a bondage fetish, I like to tie up willing women and photograph them and I enjoy being tied up myself.
It is important to me that the women I tie up have as much fun as I do. I rather do it "with" them and not "to" them. I think my models understood that but none of them had the affinity for bondage like I do. We had some great fun but I am not photographing now, they all have moved on to something else. This is not something I can easily share, I don't feel I can even tell my closest friends without them passing some judgement on me.
I feel isolated in my bondage fetish. My wife understands it somewhat but she doesn't understand how much I desire it. She looks at it as "my thing" and not hers. She is tolerate to a point but she rather not get involved with it if she doesn't have to.
She has tied me up before, she didn't mind but she wasn't thrilled with it either. I get the impression she'd rather not tie me up but I still have the desire. She will tie me up if I ask her to but it's the thing of always asking and she gives me the look, "Oh, again?" If she knows I want to be tied up, it would be really great if she would get a piece of rope, fling my hands behind me and start tying without me having to ask.
I asked for a straitjacket for my birthday and she got me one. It came but it sat in the bag for a few days before she said anything abotu strapping me up. I was waiting for her to say something about it because I didn't want to sound annoying. She strapped me up a few times but I think she was hoping that I would forget about it. I haven't forgotten, I just don't mention it. Sometimes I long to be tied up in my straitjacket, strapped in to a chair, knowing full well that I can't escape, that she will have to release me but not until she says so. Not knowing when that will be adds to the excitement.
I enjoy being bound in my straitjacket very much, I would spend alot of time that way if my wife would have any interest in keeping me tied up. I would let her tie me up at the drop of a hat if she wanted to but she has no interest in doing so.
I also desire to be gagged. I like big fat strips of cloth tied tightly in my mouth but my absolute favorite way to be gagged is wide medical adhesive tape over my mouth. I love my mouth taped shut with tape wide enough to go just under my nose, curving around my chin and long enough to go from ear to ear. I found that not just one piece but three or four layered on top of each other, makes a very effective and attractive tape gag.
In my experience of being tape gagged, I have found two types of tape that work very well. One is called Microfoam and they other is called Elastoplast.
Does anyone here have a similiar story or can you give me a word of comfort? I'd like to know what you can say about this.

[M] We love to play with light bondage, and it is always with a blindfold to amplify the other senses. We are not fans of severe pain, but a light slap or well placed clamp can cause a sensation like an electro- erotic shock, especially when the recipient is helpless. Such stimulation can make knees buckle and heavy moans.
I am usually bound as my wife does not like to give up control. We will sometimes have her simulate being bound by having her hold items (like a belt) in her hands.
I think it would be fun to rely on a safe word, or the traffic light color code. We have discussed safe words and my wife rejected the idea. Instead, she limits how heavily she applies sensation. She says she does not want to hurt me, but I would like the chance to determine what is too much versus what is just right.
I would like to get into a discussion about what to do with a bound partner to provide sensory and erotic stimulation.
We have played with temperature using ice, and spoons dipped in hot (not boiling) or cold water. We use a crop lightly, nipple clamps, and vibrators and dildoes. We have tried smells and tastes, but have had limited success with those.
We have played games a few times. Once, I let my semi-bound wife choose heads or tails and would administer pleasure or torment based upon her prediction of a coin toss.

Updated 6/04 [M 61] A workbench the wife or significant other will want to enjoy using.
Buy an exercise mat at the sporting goods store. Usually they are about 2 inches thick with foam covered by vinyl, and can be folded in 3 sections. Then make a workbench that will support the exercise mat, with 1/3 folding down. The top of the workbench will be approximately 24" x 48". Make the bench an appropriate height for massage and cunnilingus with the man standing up, bent over. Place pipe straps that will hold PVC tubing under the top of the bench. An appropriate length of PVC can be slid into the straps and then the man or woman's wrists can be strapped to the PVC with Velcro straps available at the home improvement center. The ankles can also be restrained in a similar manner. With the partner on their back, the nipples, mouth, armpits, vagina, and clitoris are very accessible without assuming the position of a contortionist.
When not being used for pleasure, the workbench will still be a reminder of orgasmic encounters.
A shelf should be attached to one end. This is a convenient location for a Skil Saw when the bench is being used for workshop activities. This shelf can be covered with a towel and used to hold massage oil, a vibrator, dildo, nipple suction cups, or whatever.
Be sure to make the frame of the workbench from 2 x 4 material so it is heavy and strong. Safety first.
The bench I built is on casters with locks for stability. Since our home is on a single lever and we have no kids at home, the bench can be rolled in whenever we are in the mood. If the "workbench" is in the basement, I would blindfold the woman, Velcro her hands behind her back, and lead her down to the bench. The Velcro hand restraints would need to be temporarily removed to place the woman on the bench and restrain her. Needless to say, there are numerous fantasies that the workbench could be a part of.

Updated 12/02 [M 38] I came up with a solution that was cheap, easy, and required no more tools than a pair of scissors:
1. Pick up the following at Home Depot or somesuch:
1a. Several 1" stainless D-rings
1b. Several double-ended snap clips
1c. A big roll of sticky-backed velcro tape, about 3/4" wide
2. Cut the velcro into 10-12" lengths
3. Peel the paper off the velcro tape pieces
4. Thread a D-ring halfway down a "hook" piece of velcro, sticking the flat side to the adhesive
5. Stick a "loop" piece of velcro, sticky-to-sticky, to the "hook" piece. That puts the fuzzy "loop" side in toward the skin of the one being restrained.
6. Repeat until you've enough for wrists, ankles, and bedposts/chair arms/whatever
7. Secure various combinations of limbs and furniture with the double-ended spring clips
8. For bonus points, make one of the velcro strips long enough (18-20") to be a collar.
The stuff I made is generally used in conjunction with four lengths of 5/16" nylon rope with snap-hooks on either end, which are tied around the feet of the bed when in use, and tucked away in a dresser drawer to avoid awkward questions from the progeny :-).

Updated 8/02 [M 23] One thing that I've done on several occasions is to partly remove a sweater/T-shirt (either mine or my girlfriend's) so that it restricts the use of arms/hands, and/or covers the face. It's safe, free, and most importantly can be spontaneous and unexpected. I'd recommend it to anyone!

Updated 2/02 [M] I make rope by cutting cotton sheets in 2" w and sewing them on an angle to make a long tub. Then pulling them in side out and filling them loose with scraps of cotton. This gives you a somewhat strong rope that can brake at about 60 lb. per rape, two rapes you get 120 lb. Easy to untie and to wash. Old cotton table cloths are about 80 lbs. but come in more colors.
On my rope, it is to be safe, none cutting and easy to use. I am a strong guy and can break 3 wraps if put into a good mode. This is done in a loving, caring, fun way we do our thing. I hope this helps with all the medical (safe), financial (cheep), and religious (fun loving) issues at our leave of fantasy and play that make us feel whole. Keep it tight, jack.
Ps. Not to tight...

I got several additions and they are posted below the letter. Updated 5/01

Dear Joan,

The mood is so important in truly good love making and maintaining that mood can be tricky when using toys or props. My wife and I have been experimenting with mild bondage, much to out mutual pleasure, but have found that the commercial restraints are rather industrial, clumsy to work with and always come in the dungeon black. This is not our style. I took matters into my own hands and made some very nice dandy cuffs. They are white and the fore part is trimmed in lace. They wrap around the wrist, attach with velcro and have a silver ring sewn in as a part of the design. These can now be worn when getting ready for bed, they can be hooked together or to something else with out a lot of fuss and they don't interfere with anything else. Plus they look pretty and nice which is something I have never seen. I was wondering if any of your readers make there own toys or lingerie? It would make for a fascinating and creative hobby.

Sincerely,

James

I asked for a bit more information and here's what he replied. JEL

I found it quite easy. A trip to the sewing department for lace and velcro. I found a type of white strip that I guess is use to make belts or gathers that worked perfect for the cuffs. There was a tense moment when the sales lady asked in passing what I was making. I just told her I had orders from the wife. Then I made a side trip to the hardware store for plain rings and a variety of snap fasteners and I was done. It took me a few moments with the sewing machine to assemble the cuffs but when I was done I had exactly what I wanted and a fraction of the price you would pay for comparable store bought items.

Updated 5/01 [M] Ever want to get into light bondage while being spontaneous? Old pantyhose are great for restraint. If you can tie a slip knot you can tie your lover down in an instant and get down to teasing. My ex-wife and I used the keep them tied to the bedposts and tucked under the mattress for quick access. There is a certain amount of movement allowed with pantyhose so they are comfortable and they don't give you burns on ankles or wrists. Velvet handcuffs are fine but you still might have a need for leg restraint and pantyhose do the trick nicely.

Updated 3/3/00 [F] I just read the letter from the gentleman who made light bondage gear for him and his wife. My husband also made me a gift. He took an old belt and cut it into sections long enough to go around each wrist. Then he covered each in scrap leather (a sort of tawny light brown color). On one end of each band is a chain link which fits through a slit on the other end of the band. You can easily pass a rope or scarf through those links to secure them. He made a similar pair for each ankle. Needless to say, we are exploring all the joys and possibilities of these cuffs often...

[M] Joan, I frequently make my own "toys" although, mine are for those that are a little more hardcore. Common Clothes pins make great nipple clips. Combine that with a trip to the sporting goods department - specifically the fishing section and pick up an assortment of snap swivels and sinkers(weights) of varying degrees. And you can experiment away. Also a variety of items can be used to make homemade floggers including that plastic lacing (gimp) that they sell in craft stores. I frequently make and occassionally sell floggers made of this material. Just a few thoughts. Also you can make your own low temp candles for wax play with untreated/unscented parafin also available from most craft stores.


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