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Good Sex at Any Age - An Essay

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The original essay is at the bottom of the page, responses above as always. Enjoy and I welcome your comments.

Updated 5/07 [M 74] My wife is 72 and I am 74. We have always been interested in your articles and letters concerning Senior sex and we'd like to give you our thoughts. Being together for 48 years makes us feel that we have fucked in every way imaginable to man including a stint at swinging. Now we are slowing down due to our age and physical conditions but we still try to remain on top of the sexual heap. Primarily, on rainy days we usually remain nude all day for sucking, fucking and playing with each other . At other times, we'll just mutually masturbate or suck each other off. We always make sure that we at least cuddle, daily, whether we cum or not. It' s always been important to us that we at least give cumming a shot..
We have also developed (to our knowledge) a way to fuck that satisfies us both by cumming in an unusual way. Permit me to describe this in some detail..
After some cuddling and foreplay, the lady gives the man.an intense blow job.so that he gets big and hard, She gets on top and takes his cock in her cunt. Once she feels comfortable, with his help she lifts herself up while spreading her cunt lips as wide as possible. At their widest, she settles back down..During the entire fuck, NO words are spoken, (a must) At this point they both close their eyes while playing with each other's nipples. The lady then slowly slides her cunt back and forth on his cock no mre than 2-3inches, ideally, with her clit rubbing on his cock hair. They both now fantasize or mentally dwell on the most fantastic fuck of their lives. The man enjoys trying to keep his cock hard by himself while the lady, feels the need to PEE. DON'T STOP. She ignores this feeling because she will not pee because what she assumes is pee is actually an ejaculate liquid accumulating within her.
When the body is ready, she will be pleasantly be surprised by having an unplanned cum occur and if all works out properly, the cum will be accompanied by a rush of hot ejaculate which will spray all over the man's cock, stream over his pelvis, his balls and down his ass.. The combined cum will probably be the most enjoyable cum of her life. If the man is able to shoot a load because if the hot ejaculate, then this will add to the effect. She will be exhausted by this cum.
Once we perfected this fuck we found that being so wonderful and strong made us to want more but we realized that too often had the potential of reducing it's pleasure. Once or twice a month was be about right.

[M 54] I was in a local bookstore and got a cup of coffee. I was sitting at a table reading the newspaper when I became aware of a conversation taking place behind me. Two women, both older than me, were talking in very hushed tones, giggling, and acting pretty "silly!" The conversation turned to sex and I overheard the dark haired one (Michelle) say that she really missed a good "fuck" once in a while. The other one (Barbara) agreed but she just didn't like the idea of all the bantering, posturing, and so on. She just wanted to have sex! I am thinking that this is bizarre! Then a women walked up and got coffee. She was about 5 feet 8 or 9 inches tall, probably pushing 45 yers, had light brown hair pulled back into a pony tail, was wearing tight jeans, a T-shirt, and not much else. She was very pretty and the conversation behind me now turned to a discussion of this "wanton whore's" clothing, her crows feet, her dull hair, etc.... I was about to leave when Barbara asked Michelle what she thought her "best" part was. Michelle thought her figure was her best attribute and that is when I turned around to the two of them and said, "I think the best part of her would be her aroma, how she tastes, the scent of her."
The two stared at me like I was from Mars! Then Michelle says, "So, how do you think I would taste? Do you think you would like my aroma?"
I told her that maybe we needed to go somewhere and find out. She looked at Barbara and said, "See you later and you, come with me!"
She lived not far away in beautiful condo. She made us both a drink, turned on some soft music and within minutes I had her nude. She was 60 years old, had a pussy covered with soft hair, her breasts were not quite as firm as the once had been but the nipples were incredibly sensitive and huge. I licked and kissed my way down her body and sampled her aroma and tasted her pussy through the pubic hair. As I continued to suck, lick, taste her, her lips grew and I was in heaven!
We made love a number of times that afternoon and evening and each was different - she was an incredible lover! I'll never pass on an older women again!

Updated 10/06 [M 75] I feel for the 54 year old man whose wife has reduced libido due to menopause. I share his problem. Even though I am 75 and my wife is 73, I pretty much think about it most of the time, probably 50 or 60 times per day. Prior to onset of menopause, due to my business travel and her heavy bleeding periods, which lasted sometimes two weeks, we had not nearly enough sex to meet my needs. Due to her severely reduced libido, when we do have sex, about every other week, she applies the services of a vibrator while I introduce my dick into her pussy from the scissors position. She sometimes has two orgasms. She is cooperative in this, but I frequently do not suggest having sex because she does not appear to have any need for it. The truth is I severely miss her sexual appetite and grieve for the loss of it. One of my pleasures is remembering our sexual encounters years ago when she was enthusiastically eager for it. The fact that I love her and like her as a person and crave her only makes the loss of libido all the more painful. The fact that she seems to have no need for sex also tends to reduce my enthusiasm for it. I usually masturbate once per week, an action that does not contain any sense of loss or grief.

Updated 9/06 [F] One of the spices for us is your recommended site abadboy.com, the others are naturist.adultcity.dk and orientbeach.com. We have spent many many hours looking through the pages. In abadboy.com. you we find all types of men which we would not normally not see at our nudist beach or in saunas: white and ethnic (colored) men with nice bodies and VERY long cocks, flaccid, semi and fully erect. Whereas in the other two sites there are beach scenes with naked men and women and close-ups of pussies. With our printer we copied more than 150 persons whose bodies we found most sexy and turning on. My husband's favorites are fullbreasted women, shaved vaginas and protruding vaginal lips or two ladies/one naked man. My favorites are strong men aged 30/40, good looking faces (not too soft and not too hard in expression), firm butts, long flaccid or semi hard cocks showing the glans.
I think it happens to most of the couples that sex life has become a routine after many years of marriage and a new spicing up is needed. Instead of having only intercourse we agreed to have masturbation sessions about once a week, each one for himself but watching each other. He lathers his cock and balls, I do my nipples, clit and vagina with baby oil. We take out the prints one by one and whoever wants to describe what fascinates him of what is to be seen in the picture explains it in details - so setting free thoughts, feelings and fantasies which might not only turn on the speaker but the listener as well. The result, what you hear, is often incredible. One might think that -after several weeks or months - the explanation of the same picture/s is boring. Mostly it is not because the speaker then is an other disposition, consequently using other words and descriptions.
During these descriptions we touch ourselves. It depends on how moody we are: these sessions can take half an hour or even up to 3 hours. Mostly it is between one and two ours. Depending on the intensity of use of (soft, hard) words the speaker starts touching himself. My husband tries to stay erect as long as possible (2-3 shots during a session) which helps me to come quicker, I come 4-5 times normally, up to 7 times if his or my stories are very hot, for example when he describes the picture of an ethnic/colored man with a long penis, telling me he just had sucked that man's limb cock to semi hard for me to take over for further stroking and then being taken from behind, he (my hub) masturbating and watching us. One of his preferences are pictures of women holding the man's penis in her hand and he touching her breast. I'd tell him the woman is our friend whom I had asked to get him erect and if so, to make love with him while I will watch them from all sides, stretch his balls (he likes it) and milk her breasts carefully.
These masturbating sessions are highly erotic. As we seldom do come at the same time, we can watch each other's cumming and the pleasure we get from our self-loving.

[F] Here's some advice for either gender. As we age, we're often startled by changes in our bodies, our moods, our libido, our sexual responsiveness, and how our aches, pains & maladies affect our sexuality. It's crucial for the partner to listen, accept whatever's happening non-judgementally, and for the couple to work together to find solutions for making sex the best it can be. Great advice for any time in life JEL

Updated 4/06 [M] As you know, both shared and solo sex are important to many couples, and both forms of pleasure are unique and rewarding. Over the years, I have been a dedicated "edger," and love to take all the time I need for my personal pleasures. No need to rush things. Of course, the eventual orgasms are always fantastic. I enjoy the journey as well as the destination.
So, as I was teasing, testing and challenging myself, it occurred to me that all my practice has indeed paid off. At 56, I have great orgasmic control, which is important when making love to my wife, as well as while I'm masturbating. I make a point of taking the time to actually "play" with myself in addition to enjoying familiar patterns and techniques. I take the time to admire myself and make love to myself. I firmly believe that people who really enjoy sex and masturbation are among some of the sanest and most beautiful people on the planet.
My Friday orgasm was absolutely mind-blowing; undoubtedly one of the best I've ever had.
I intend to keep on improving my pleasures until the day they lower me in the ground.

[M] My wife and I decided we would enjoy some afternoon sex, so we showered up and I got things ready in the bedroom while she finished in the bathroom. I set out our sex towels, lube, pillows, and put one of our favorite porn on the TV.
Shortly, she came strutting out of the bathroom, wearing a short, black, sheer robe and a very sexy g-string, also black with some red satin. She walked in atop a classic pair of black pumps, leaned over the bed, and presented her behind to me, wiggling it slightly.
Now, usually, we take the time for some kissing, petting, and oral sex before getting down to the "main event," but this time she was simply hot to trot, and wanted to feel my thick erection against her swollen lips. After a bit of frottage, I peeled down the g-string, lubed up my cock, and began teasing her thick lips.
We had one hot, wild afternoon quickie.
So, once again, sex for mature couples like us just seems to get better.
Mature lovers have been enjoying each other for years, and know how to arouse one another, how to push each and every fun button.
They aren't coy or shy or hesitant to ask for what they want, and probably verbalize well when they're having sex.
It just keeps getting better...

Updated 11/05 [M 76] I am inspired to write you for three reasons: First, because you have urged your readers to write; second, to thank you and your readers for contributing so much to my own belated sex education and third, because I feel a strong urge to reveal a beautiful, gratifying future to your “younger” readers; that is those under the age of 70!
My wife of 54+ years and I have a fabulous sex life and although our sex has been great from the beginning (because everything was new to both of us, I believe) it is better right now than ever! Night before last was the best ever and I eagerly await the next time!
In recent months I have wanted to report our ecstasy to others—a kind of non-visual voyeurism, I guess —because I want to let others know what can await them. Strangely, I have even wanted to somehow let our grown children know what we have achieved sexually but, of course, I could never bring myself to do that.
We were married a long time before it began to dawn on us what protected lives we had led; how ignorant, some would say. Both virgins, we had not masturbated and were idealistic about waiting for “the one.” In other words, we learned sex together. Although it was wonderful from the start, we both bled in the early going; her hymen and my uncircumcised foreskin. Although, we had very frequent and very hot sex from the beginning it was years before I knew what or where her clitoris was. She was/is very breast sensitive and climaxed occasionally from my attention there but always minimized or left unspoken her enjoyment of orgasm.
Gradually in the second decade of marriage we began to regularly achieve mutual orgasm, most often with her on top. I now associate that with better clit stimulation. Early, we once even stumbled or groped into mutual oral sex but I believe now that neither of us was entirely sure that oral was “right.” I know that due to early, fragmented, locker room exposure I feared that oral sex was homo-related. I sometimes felt a longing for head, but I would not think of asking her for it, and didn’t. Once after she had some minor surgery and had her pubic area shaved, I was kneeling beside her bed and was attracted orally to that area. I gently tongued her labia and clit and she moaned something that thrills me to this day: “Why haven’t you ever done that before?” Yet, unbelievably, neither of us followed up on that wonderful start. We soon returned to our pattern of regular and often suggestive flirting, teasing, kissing, fondling and intercourse. We did, from time to time, use all the known, non-contorting, positions with me always leading and always eventually ejaculating. She reached one orgasm, never more, from one third to one half the time. Please believe me, that imbalance was not due to my selfishness or hastiness. In fact, she has long known by now that my enjoyment is heightened if she cums with me or before me. She often chose not to climax at all saying it was “too violent.” However, she never failed to assist me in every way and never, in all these years turned me down. Mutual love is a great enhancer of good sex; in fact I am hardly aroused by porn, or any other sex without love and respect.
I came across your great site several years ago, Joan, and it has tremendously benefited us. I have educated myself here—and indirectly--my “southern lady-like” wife and it has been tremendously beneficial. I often print out one of your stories or a reader’s comment and take it to her in bed or in the tub. She and I both acknowledge that we came into this partnership as uninformed prudes of sorts. But, we do not decry that. In fact, we count it a blessing. With your help and the help of some of your readers we have continued to expand and improve this God-given blessing and are at peak enjoyment. We much more openly discuss our needs, wants and pleasures. We regularly use oral sex during foreplay; 2-3 different 69’variations. She has led us into positions from time to time, and admitted, “Yes, I enjoy orgasm just like you do”, or has made it clear by her movements that she was ready for cunnilingus, even needed it. Gosh, am I lucky! I love my wife.
As youngsters, we kept and set a lot of wild records such as “eleven times during one week end.” Those times were great but nothing like our most recent ones such has “seven times in the last eight weeks and we both had hard, draining orgasms each time, she first, then me. How sweet it is! Thanks again, Joan to you and your contributors. It would please us very much if some reader or readers—50-70 years old—with similar backgrounds to ours would gain encouragement and/or inspiration from our story.
I look forward to the next issue but I don’t expect to improve on what we have; couldn’t stand it. Oh, did I tell you that we both turned 76 in the summer and we have a great grand child!

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